In February 2014, It had become a little more easier to manage my symptoms. But I was on the move again, to a different job, different city and new people and places :-/.
By the end of February, I had been in tears more often then not, lost my temper, thrown items around the room and yes you guessed it, those initial symptoms had come back with a vengeance. Comforted slightly by the fact I was in a new town with different medical practice, I went again. I broke down in tears, explained my symptoms, explained how it is physically exhausting to get out of bed, due to the constant worry and put downs. Told her how I constantly feel locked into myself because I am carefully analysing and assessing every single word or movement, if I didn’t It would sure given the anxiety gremlins fuel to keep on rearing there ugly heads. For doing something I classed as stupid i.e.: stumbling slightly or saying the wrong thing. She diagnosed me then with Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD). Referred me for Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), and prescribed Setraline (which I didn’t take as I personally didn’t want to go down the medication route, I was quite happy to wait for the therapy)- I did try the medication for a while but the made me worse, so after a few days I stopped them.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy was really good, however unfortunately I only had 12-15 sessions.
My therapist Kirsty, was lovely, we spoke about the physiological changes during panic, encouraged me to keep a worry diary and assess with it was a productive worry i.e something I could resolve/do something about, or a Non-productive worry, something that was totally irrational and out of my control.
We learned breathing exercises, distraction methods as well as tips to change my thought process in was that would quickly analyse and get rid of that worry. I soon started feeling better, although some days it was a challenge to make myself go!
I developed a tool kit for emergencies, continued my worry journal and started eating a little healthier, which made me feel better and in turn made my symptoms lessen.
So yeah, thank you for reading, I will no doubt be adding more to the series soon!
and some other blog posts for you all too!
Feel free to comment/share. I will reply at my earliest convenience.
Muchos Love!
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